I WENT OUT LAST NIGHT

the smell of sterile antiseptic 

soaked in gasoline and sodium carbonate 

kerosene sits in my nose

daylight kisses the window sill and shows my muscle 

having one red wash cloth not clean

i can't help but feel proud in this chemical moment, neurobiological meets metal 

glitter in my eyes

the day after never fun, but usually not like this 

i'll never tell anyone

benzodiazepines on the kitchen floor 

this is where all the messes happen 

i still cry like a child

i still drink wine too often

just cut anything on my tongue, it doesn't matter 

i called my father

and that normally never happens

i can see my tissue and it makes me proud, i hope he's proud 

proof i don't need anything, even a shell

this body means nothing to me 

bright red is the most beautiful 

and no one shares my sentiment 

don't expose yourself

written by isagnat on tiktok