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UPDATED WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT ★ BONE-A-FIDE EXPERIENCES FROM YOURS TRULY

12.23.25 1544

on my way to destination in crowded car. forgot a snack . izzy took my portable charger so i havent been able to use my airpods in forever. meaning my only choice is to listen to falsettos off my mp3 player with ATROCIOUS quality in my $1.50 wired headphones that only work on one ear. get thee to a psychiatrist!!!

11.19.25 1204

kids at my work have a new obsession (not sparked by me, surprisingly) called “playing surgery”, where they beg me for 8 chairs, use them to set up an operating table, put a preschooler on it, and anesthetize her. a large part of this game is where the preschooler wakes up in the middle of the surgery and starts screaming. its hilarious. better than the other recent game where this one dramatic girl hits this mostly nonverbal kid over and over again with a hard plastic block and when he lightly hits her back she starts crying to me. aw and the other day i walked into work and this nonverbal (although he’s been starting to talk a bit) preschooler broke into a huge smile and ran up to me and hugged me :((((( insanely funny seeing 100% white babies say their first words in japanese

11.17.25 1030

mmhmmhmm. terrible $1.50 wired headphones blasting the cure into my ears. heheha . love. bought a planner with the intent of using it for the 6th year in a row. it will probably end up empty for the 6th year in a row. i need to lock in oh my goodness. i should spnd my whole paycheck at barnes and noble i think. waow . going to glue my pathetic stein drawing onto the back of new planner. inshallah it will come with me to umich. god please . let me IN

11.14.25 1226

stressful week. just farted loud as hell in the school bathroom. i have to drive my brother home from school now and its upsetting me a bit. need to complete css profile tonight. in better news i found a smoke shop that doesn’t card . farewell gotta go study stupid ochem

11.7.25 1308

wake up. dick cheney dead. zohran won. half day. no 1-3 period. go to your boyfriend’s art class. all your friends are there. go to the cafe. hot hazelnut cappuccino. do crafts. go to class. lecture on your favorite chemical theories. dismissal. diner lunch with boyfriend and friend. antique store. sit by railroad tracks. cigarette. shotgun it into his mouth. double date at secret forest lake spot. go to work. kids ask you to teach them how to make zines. go home. boyfriend comes over. get cracked. watch a movie about georges melies. do crafts. listen to jazz radio. everything shower. 9pm bedtime.

10.8.25 1213

hello again. no liveblogs for a while, sorry about that. it’s my birthday!! i deleted social media in a blind rage, so ill probs be on here more often.

8.27.25 0820

hello. i’m typing this on my advmed break. i’m quite nervous for my drug test. i’m tired as hell.

8.26.25 2019

first day of college sucked. i realize i was out of town during orientation. meaning i have to fill out paperwork before i can take the class. so i have to take my mom with me before class to sign the papers. im already very embarrassed by this and i’m hoping i can just disappear or blend in with the rest of my class. but there are only 4 other students! and they were all wearing fucking scrubs. i am not wearing scrubs. they all had textbooks and drug screen receipts and were so put together and i look like i was born 15 minutes ago. so anyway the prof starts lecturing and (after the slide on medicinal leeches, which i enjoyed!!) starts talking about professional conduct and eye contact. i’m already thinking Oh shit. and then she singles me out in front of the class and points out how i was slouching and not making eye contact!!!! she used me as a bad example! i am disabled! ugh. my classmates are very nice but the first day was a mess. it’ll get better though

8.25.25 2252

hello. sorry about the lack of updates, although i doubt people read this. maybe i’m saying that for my future huge internet fanbase that i’ll definitely have one day. i started my senior year today! i watched the sunrise and had custom donuts, and then went to the peninsula with my best friends. we had the whole peninsula to ourselves, so we played loud music and had a picnic and danced around for hours before heading back to school. i sat in the library for the first three class periods, and then went to writing workshop. that, chem study, and ap bio were uneventful but pleasant. i got home and then max came over, which was fun. i tend to go silent for a few hours immediately after school but i invited max over anyway because i know he doesn’t care. i had therapy at 6 and that’s where things went downhill. i told my therapist i didn’t want to be in therapy from the start. i’m frustrated because i always leave the office in a worse mood than when i enter. therapy is supposed to do the opposite! i’ve been doing great for a year now, and talking to a therapist weekly feels like trying to fudge sins while waiting in line for confession as a kid. i got home and since then i’ve been in a slight moral panic about some (absolutely hilarious and definitely justified) actions i recently took. but my brain likes to convince me i’m a bad person and i’m ruining people’s lives. it’s okay, ill feel okay tomorrow. i’ve been meaning to make a weblog entry in the past week but i keep getting sidetracked. i’m typing now because i just had the urge to go on twitter and i know that would make me much more miserable. goodnight loyal readers i love all 2 of you 

8.13.25 1932

i’ve been up north for the past couple days. we are deep in amish country and it’s quite strange. i made 3 bracelets so far. one for my fundraiser, one with atomic symbols, and one with halogen periodic squares. i went out on the rowboat last night but the motor died once i got out there and i had to row back. i’m writing this now because i got a strong urge to go on tumblr, but then i realized i deleted tumblr (along with most other socials) during the drive up north. i debated redownloading it but realized it would make me miserable, and i needed to write. i want to draw little mundane comics but i struggle to find inspiration. i’m watching perks of being a wallflower tonight. i want to watch dinner in america, but i don’t like watching things on my phone. maybe i’ll watch it on the tv. it’s very nice outside right now. since i no longer have social media, the only things i’ve been doing on my phone are using pinterest, talking to friends, and arguing about frankenstein. i got my schedule today for senior year and they put me in spanish 5, which is kinda evil. i need my independent study! i’m getting a bit chilly, i’m going to go inside now. i’ll start another bracelet. i want to make a blogpost but i’m uninspired. bye for now!

8.08.25 0004

today's weblog covers the seventh, although i'm typing in the early hours of the eighth. i finally befriended the new clerk at my favorite bodega. i've been going there for five years to buy drinks, and the former owner was an older yemeni man. he disappeared one day last year and was replaced by a younger indian man. i was concerned, because i was hoping the former owner didn't get kidnapped by ice. he was a great man and would always greet me excitedly when i entered the shop and inquire about my recent life. i found out from the new guy that he got his green card and a new job, so i'm relieved and happy for him. the new owner's name is sam, and he works seven days a week. he's taking his first days off in over two months next week, and i'm excited for him. his friend is flying in from india tonight and they're going to watch jurassic park. this whole conversation started because i bought an arizona iced tea can with an ad for the new superman movie on it, and he asked me if the movie was good. i told him it was, and he said that he hasn't seen it, and that he doesn't see the point in watching a superhero movie if good societal change doesn't happen in real life. we had a conversation about palestine and ukraine and immigration, and it was nice connecting with someone over hard times. i shook his hand and hopefully i'll see him again. i don't know if he's a citizen, but i really hope he stays safe either way.

8.06.25 2339

i had a fully packed day today; i woke up at 7 and worked a 4 hour shift at the hospital, which was busy as hell, and i was on my feet constantly. then immediately after, i had a dentist appt, and then immediately after that, i had a call with the american red cross about volunteering; then IMMEDIATELY after i hung up, i heard a knock at my door, and my friends were over, and i only got back into my room alone at 10pm and i did all of that on 3 hours of sleep (which is very abnormal for me, and probably a record low, usually a “bad night’s sleep” is 6 hours), and i think chemically my brain is almost out of the nutrients & enzymes it needs to function that are produced during sleep; i must bid you ado. GOODNIGHT. no weblog entry for yesterday and there will not be one but it was the best day of my entire summer so far. ain’t love a kick in the head! 

8.04.25 1948 

today was very very good. busy, but really good. i worked 4 hours at the hospital this morning and really bonded (?) with my coworkers. we all sat together at lunch and they’ve started including me on their jokes. some OR nurse was quite mean to me, but the main boss of the sterile department chewed her out. there was drama involving hip retractors. i had my usual parfait for lunch. breakfast was cereal, a coffee, and for some reason i also drank a celsius. my heart is still racing and its been almost 12 hours. the constant state of atrial fibrillation sets an important context for my happenings today. after work i dropped my badge & jacket off at home and then headed to my friend’s house. his younger brother needed help installing a graphics card on his computer, and i was more than happy to install it for him. i really miss working with computers. mine is probably due for a checkup soon, i’ll have to get to that. after i installed the graphics card (and a stick of RAM i brought over for him), he booted up minecraft and was running shaders excellently. i then went outside to talk to his older brother, my friend. he was on the back patio restoring his typewriter. i attempted to help him dislodge it from the caseplate, but we were unsuccessful. i was very agitated (not in a negative way, just a bit hyper) from the caffiene and we had a quite spirited discussion. we left the house in our separate cars at the same time. he went to work and i headed home. i then went to the library to pick up my hold on a nonfiction book about autopsies. i ran another errand which i can’t describe here until tomorrow evening. i went home, laid in bed for a bit reading my autopsy book, and then drove to therapy. i got a little pissed at my therapist because he won’t drop the fact that im queer. he really wants to talk about me being queer. i really don’t, it doesn’t weigh on me. i went home and got on the toilet and opened blogger on my phone and started typing, and here i am now. goodnight!

8.03.25 1119

yesterday was very fun. i spent the whole day locked in at my computer transferring my music onto my mp3 player. i drew a killer piece for a friend and slept like a rock. i’m currently in the car on the way to the lake listening to fall out boy. i opened an arizona iced tea but it tasted so weird. hopefully i don’t get botulism. and hopefully my tastebuds didn’t change because i don’t think i could live without arizona iced tea. anyway i got a new swimsuit and i’m very excited to go out on the lake.

7.30.25 2316

today was semi-eventful. i went to the pool and swam in the rain with my friends. had like 3 arizona iced teas. im listening to WRCJ overnight jazz right now and having a great time. i want to add more movies to my creature features page, but im having trouble finding the motivation. got my wellbutrin refilled today. my hair looks great right now. i am very excited to start my college applications. for breakfast i had toast with avocados and ham. dinner was microwaved indian food. i wish my blog had more viewers. if you are reading this hello!

7.24.25 2324

today was good! i fiddled with my radio quite a lot and played minecraft with my friends. a buddy came over and we went to goodwill. i bought 2 saw dvds, a POTO cd, and 2 real vietnam (?) helmets. gonna graffiti them with another buddy.